Recovery Diary 05/17/19

Recovery Diary 05/17/19

The concept of a spiritual realm is captivating, confusing, and requires complete faith because it’s a world we can’t fully understand. To quote my favorite Christmas movie, Santa Claus, “seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.” Once you come to a place where you believe that there’s more to this life than what we understand, then our eyes become opened to the spiritual moments we have every day. I call these spiritual encounters, Blue Moments. Blue is my favorite color as it reminds me of the ocean and scuba diving, the one place I feel most at peace with myself and the world.

Blue moments are simple. They are the wonderful connections my brain can’t attribute to anything I understand. The song that the raindrops composed while crashing on the window pane. The clouds up above. The sky. The atmosphere. The planets. The stars. The galaxies and all the mysteries they hold. Driving through Denver without a clue about the city, trying to find an apartment. All the showings we scheduled from pictures of apartments we found online, ending up being dumps in parts of the city we truly didn’t feel at home. Then driving to our Airbnb and randomly stumbling into an apartment complex, asking to see an apartment, and later signing the lease. The idea of finding this home, the drive we took taking us to the place we would move, the perfect alignment of these moments. The letter a client wrote before discharging explaining the impact I made on their recovery journey. The concept of the power of words, of the relationship built between me and a person struggling in the same darkness I used to be stuck. The transferring of stories. The power of healing. These are just a few of my Blue Moments.

 Blue Moments happen to all of us, all the time, but without looking for them, they easily pass by without acknowledgement or gratitude. It goes back to the quote “seeing is believing”, which holds so much truth when unpacked. Once the choice to believe in the alignment of the universe and the gifts she offers us throughout our days, our eyes are opened to the encounters we experience every single day. We bump into the energies of life while walking down the street and the smile exchanged with a stranger, moving apartments and uncovering old letters of encouragement from friends, a job, a meal, a conversation. Anything we accept with gratitude, anything that lifts our spirits, these are spiritual encounters. I guess it is just a matter of how we choose to accept them. What language do we use when explaining these positive moments in our lives?

I think back to my years of darkness. I think about the doctors, hospitals, and treatment centers. My failing heart, the worried faces, the blackouts, and nights spent praying for it all to just end. Then, I marvel at where I am now. I have the ability to travel, to move across country, to offer love to my partner, to write without exhaustion, to eat the foods I love. I have the ability to live. In just a few years, my entire existence has shifted. How can I not attribute this to a spiritual world? I suppose, when you kiss death you find a new outlook on life. You find the light because you are so familiar with the dark.

Leave a comment

Back to Blog