Written by: Marcela Sabía, contributing writer. Follow more of her journey on her Instagram, @marcelailustra.
Recently I was deeply saddened by something that happened and decided that I needed a change in my life once and for all. My problem was that I was living in a desperate search for total control in my life, and I needed to accept that this was an illusion – we have no control over anything except our attitudes. I needed to accept that my need was bringing me pain and frustration. I needed to start building new thoughts inside of me.
Since then patience has been a key word in my life. I have exercised daily the act of being patient with life, with people and especially with myself – which has proved to be one of the most difficult things. Most of us tend to be very hard on ourselves and I am no different, as I have always been in the habit of speaking to myself negatively. Changing this inner dialogue is something that requires much self-love and understanding. I say that because we are human, and we are going to fail. We are going to mess up, go back to the old habits, be angry with ourselves and doubt our own capacity – but even with all this, love and patience will not let us give up.
The sooner we understand that everything in life is a process, the more patient we are, especially with ourselves. To change, overcome, conquer, forget, learn or anything else you want: it takes time.
And the change will hardly be linear, we will always have ups and downs in search of what we want. So be patient with yourself, live one day at a time, cherish every little victory and everything will be lighter. One step and we are no longer in the same place.
As a suggestion, something that has helped me be more patient with myself was watching the new version of Queer Eye. Even though the show is about turning men into their best versions, the advice is valid for all of us and the five boys on the show teach precious lessons that include being patient with yourself. It’s very therapeutic for me. For those interested, it’s available on Netflix.