Brandilyn’s #imnotsorry Story

Brandilyn is not only a friend of those at Unpolished Journey, but she is also a transformational coach, speaker, writer, and retreat host.  Check her out at!

Disclaimer: This post is political in nature and its contents may be upsetting for some individuals. Never the less, here at Unpolished we believe it is important to make our authentic voices heard.


Cried all the way on my drive into work today and #imnotsorry As a survivor of sexual assault, I feel extremely triggered by the fact that we have elected a predator to lead our country–someone whom I would not feel safe alone with. Someone whom I know sees me as an object for his control and pleasure.

As a survivor of an eating disorder, I feel triggered by the fact that we have chosen a leader who thinks that my body needs to look a certain way in order for me to be valuable.

As a white woman, I feel embarrassed that 53% of us who voted have internalized our oppression so much as to excuse such behavior.

As a friend and confidant to dozens of women who still struggle to heal from the trauma of abortions, I feel dismayed by the fact that he thinks you deserve to be punished. As a mentor of young people who are bullied, I feel crushed by the fact that you are now getting the message that bullies win.

As a close friend to Muslims, LGBTQ people, people of color and Mexicans, I feel so sorry that you are getting the message that you are unsafe and unwanted. You are wanted. You are loved. You are valued. You are allowed to be who you are.

As an American, I feel ashamed, disappointed and angry. But I think what’s underneath that anger is a deep sadness that much of our country still believes that some lives are more valuable than others. Sadness that we elected a president because he “tells it like it is,” meaning someone who is unafraid to put the racists, imperialist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, white supremacist world view of this country on loud speaker.

And yet, underneath all of it, from deep, deep down,–I feel grateful, confident and hopeful. Grateful that I was able to vote for a woman for president yesterday. Grateful that the glass ceiling may not be broken but that it is cracking. Confident that this is the wake up call that we need to catalyze lasting change. And hopeful that the fact that we elected Donald Trump for president simply means that old, violent, dominant ideologies sense that their demise is coming and therefore need to fight THIS hard in response. Hopeful that what we are seeing is the oppressive identity of America crying out in pain because of the holes that we have poked in it. Hopeful that a large dose of such blatant displays of discrimination will pull us out of denial and into committed action. And hopeful that this will be the mirror that our country needs in order to look itself in the face. The system is designed to pit us against each other.

Don’t let it.

Don’t let the anger and frustration and bitterness steal your ability to be compassionate and understanding to all, no matter whom they supported.Let the depth of our sadness help us grow roots so that we can grow taller and stronger. Let this cause us as a country to confront our shadow. Let this be an awakening. I know it is for me.

Love “Trumps” all.

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